Reasons Why I hate edward x bella
by PhantasienFreiheit
Summary: Flames are mocked, reviews are welcomed. Rated T...just to be sure. Edward x Bella fans beware, Alice X Bella are welcomed with open arms! 333


**Reason why I posted this is on the bottom. Edward X Bella lovers beware, Alice X Bella lovers,read on, no one is stopping you~!**

**REASONS WHY I HATE EDWARD X BELLA...and Why I LOVE ALICE X BELLA!**

**DISCLAIMER ; I don't own Twilight...If I did, then Alice would be human and be madly in love with Isabella, who is the Vampire. No one else. **

**1 - There is no real love.**

_Edward X Bella_

When Edward first met Bella, all it was about was her smell and his appearance. And by the end of the 10th or 9th chapter, they said that they 'loved' eachother(Which was like...what, 3 days after they met?). I don't believe that people fall in love with eachother THAT fast!

_Alice X Bella._

It was like they were made for eachother! When Bella first saw Alice standing behind Edward, getting ready to hunt during lunch time at the cafeteria, there was FAR more chemistry there! Even though they didn't talk much, it was there. Was it there with Edward?...Hmm...lemme think...NO!

**2 - Grossness...and sparkles.**

_Edward X Bella  
_He is just gross, if someone tried to control me and glare at me and date me only for my smell, I would tell them to take a hike, wiseass! And truth be told, only gay people (HELL YEAH!) sparkle, not straight people.

_Alice X Bella_

You see, atleast Alice is somewhat bearable in the series with her odd behaviors. She is just a constant star. Shining through the darkness(literally) AND she was there when Edward wasn't during New Moon! What can you say about that, huh? BRING IT, EDWARDxBELLA FANS! I RUN Y'ALL DOWN!

**3 - Controlling and stalkerish.**

_Edward X Bella_

I don't know what was running through Stephanie Meyer's head when she was writing this shit out, but the stalking part was a bit too much, dont'cha think? I mean, he watches her sleep! How disgusting is that? I don't care that the bastard is an 'pale greek adonis statue', if someone was watching me sleep, I would beat him with a bat and get a restraining order.

Seriously.

_Alice X Bella_

Does Alice control who Bella hangs out with? I don't think so. She actually TRIES to get along with Jacob, unlike crappy controlling Edward. And does Alice stalk Bella and watch her sleep? No, she does not. She gives her privacy and respects her boundaries...unlike a certain mind-rapist I know...

**4 - He leads her on, and then he tells her to 'control herself'.**

_Edward X Bella_

When Bella wants to..err...get the physical part of her 'relationship' with Edward a boost, he kisses her, touches her, caress's her...and when she gets all excited...what does Edward do? He doesn't 'give in', thats for sure. A good relationship has physical contact...which Edward refuses to give.

_Alice X Bella_

When Bella was being hunted by James, and she was heading to Phoenix, who was sitting in the backseat of the car lending a shoulder for Bella to cry on, huh? It was our favourite Pixie! That's who! And if Bella asked Alice for some..err...'oblivion', then who is Alice to refuse, eh? That AND Bella has FAR MORE physical contact with Alice than she ever will with Edward...

**5 - He is uptight and snobbish.**

_Edward X Bella_

He is sooooo uptight, he really needs to let loose and remove the 100 foot pole from his ass and just have some fuunnnn~!...Wait, it's Edward Cullen...he never has any fun. Nevermind. And he is just sooo snobby and arrogant. He makes Bella – who is in an abusive relationship, feel all stupid and useless...which she isn't!

_Alice X Bella_

If Alice was a real live person, I would want to possibly marry her -if Bella didn't already get there before me. She is just so...bubbly! And with her personality, she makes everyone feel loved and cherished. Bella is just too blinded by Edward's 'Pale and muscular perfection-y chest'...please, excuse me while I hurl.

**pukes**

**There is just no love like Alice x Bella.**

_**Enough said.**_

**Reviews are welcomed, flames will be mocked. And I know that I promised a Holloween special, it's just that this was bouncing around in my head while I was in the middle of typing it out. ...I'm gonna post it on Holloween, too...**

**Phanny out! V-V**


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